“I’ve loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night”
It’s a Saturday night. A cool, cloudless Saturday night. The windows are rolled down, all the way rolled down, as if the car itself is asking the wind to come inside and play. The stars are out, doing their twinkling dance around and around the sky, making you feel both alive and free, as if you will never experience this kind of freedom again, and the infinite darkness behind the stars only radiates mystery and mystique. Music is playing on the car speakers, louder than it should be, and you are screaming along to the song lyrics with three of your greatest friends. You drive and drive, going in circles, retracing old paths and forgotten streets, remembering and reminiscing of all the good times, never the bad. And the sky is still shimmering and sparkling, and when you look out the window, up and out of the window, it’s almost like you are looking through a snow globe…expect you’re on the inside looking out. But you are happy….and you are free…and you feel infinite.
If you go back and think of all the times in your life when you felt true, untouched freedom, how many moments and memories would there be? Would you be able to say that you’ve lived your life freely, without any restraints or restrictions, that you’re opinion was the only one that mattered, and that you were doing what you wanted, not what your Mom or Dad or great Uncle Hank wanted you to do? Or are those moments few and far between, where maybe you’ve only experienced freedom in the middle of the night, when it’s just you and you alone, with no one to tell you what to do, where to go, what to think. Maybe your freedom is found on a beach somewhere, where the only noise you hear is of the waves crashing down, where the tide takes away your responsibilities, worries, and fears far from you, into the depths of the ocean, leaving you with the only thing that matters…freedom.
We all have had our moments where we have felt completely free from everything in our lives, where there was nothing in between us and the universe. In these rare moments, we feel invincible. We are the kings and the queens of our world, the makers and creators of our incredible story, the alpha and the omega of everything that surrounds us. And if someone or something tells us otherwise, we don’t flinch, because in those moments, we are unstoppable.
My freedom, my “letting go of everything” kind of moment, is when I am driving on a clear, starry night. How many people across the world are looking up into the same night sky at the same time I am? How many are looking at the moon and the stars, excited for the mere anticipation of the coming day? You feel so small, so minuscule compared to the grand size of the universe, but alongside feeling small, you also feel like you are apart of something bigger than yourself. You can’t explain it, you can’t put your finger on it, and you can hardly define the thought, but you know that you are not alone…that you will never be alone.
There, in that moment of freedom, of pure, raw freedom, you know that no matter what you have gone through and what life threw at you before this moment now, it doesn’t matter. Because in that moment, you swear, you are infinite.